The Art of Gathering
One Woman’s Joyful Approach to Holiday Entertaining
For Anne Marie Foisy, entertaining has never been a duty. It’s a delight. As the oldest of seven children, she learned early how to set an extra place or two at the table. By the time she was married, she was already the designated hostess of her family.
“My mother was very, very happy to say, ‘Go ahead,’” she laughs. “So, starting in my 20s, all the big dinners and parties were at my house.”
Over the years, Anne Marie has hosted everything from Sunday dinners with family to children’s birthday parties, to elegant dinners for her husband’s corporate colleagues. Sometimes it’s been as many as 50 people at once. “That was more of a buffet,” she says with a grin, “but my sit-down dinners, especially for holidays, usually run in the 20s.”
For her, hospitality is about more than the menu. It’s how a person feels when they walk through her door.
“I can tell that the hostess has made an effort to make me feel comfortable and to sort of pamper me, I so appreciate it,” Anne Marie says, “and I try to do that for other people too.”
Dressing the Table Like You Dress Yourself
One of Anne Marie’s most charming philosophies is that a table deserves the same care and creativity you give to your outfit.
“When you get up in the morning, you decide what you’re going to wear depending on your mood or the occasion. Some days it’s a boho look with jeans, some days it’s a business suit. The table is the same. You’re creating a mood and suiting the occasion.”
Her everyday dishes are simple white, but her serving pieces are red, her favorite color. “With that, it can be Fourth of July, it can be Valentine’s Day, it can be Christmas. I can add in a green or a blue dish and completely change the look.” She delights in mixing platinum-rimmed, hand-painted chargers with Waterford crystal or art glass she’s collected over the years.
And she always insists on using the “good stuff.” The Waterford crystal comes out not just for champagne, but for something as simple as apple cider for her grandchildren. “I want them to have memories of it,” she explains. “So many kids don’t want their parents’ china or stemware, but if they had memories attached to it, they would.”
Beyond the Centerpiece
When it comes to the center of the table, Anne Marie doesn’t like anything that blocks conversation. Instead of a tall floral arrangement, she shifts her gaze upward.
“If you have light fixtures, take advantage of that space above the table,” she says. “Fill it with greenery, ornaments, or twinkle lights. It makes the table cozier and leaves more room for food, wine and family-style serving.”
A thoughtful mix of old and new also makes her spaces feel layered and personal. Rice lights in a vintage Waterford vase, martini glasses from a recent purchase adorned with floating roses, wreaths on the windows, or art glass picked up at an antique shop for just a few dollars — everything has a place.
“Your décor should tell a story about you,” she says. “If you have a collection, don’t keep it in a cupboard. Bring it out and let people appreciate it.”
All the Senses
Anne Marie believes true hospitality is multi-sensory. Lighting and music matter just as much as the menu. “We are multisensory, right? It’s not just your eye. It’s your ear, your sense of smell, your taste. I try to appeal to all of the senses when I’m setting the mood.”
Her favorite trick? Sending guests home with a little something to remember the evening. A truffle in a silver box that doubles as a place card with a guest’s name handwritten on a tag. A candy-cane scented candle. A jar of homemade rosemary meat rub. Even a slice of pecan pie tucked neatly into a to-go box.
“People appreciate a small gesture,” she says. “It shows thoughtfulness and extends the memory.”
“Reimagine how you use flowers. How about incorporating a bud vase of fresh flowers at each place setting or create a small tablescape between guests sitting across from one another?”
The Invitation is Part of the Fun
For Anne Marie, the magic of a gathering starts long before the first guest arrives. It begins with the invitation. She reminisces about one gathering that others might have postponed due to an arduous construction project. Not Anne Marie. Instead, her invite featured sandpaper and sections of old blueprints to show her guests the show must go on.
“Who’s not going to want to go to that party?” she says with a laugh.
She suggests an element of surprise with each invite. How about using a fortune cookie with the invitation stuck inside to promote a retirement? Or, using a hinged Christmas ornament with a handwritten note inside with all the festive details. “You’re setting up an expectation,” she explains. “People get a really cool invite and it creates enthusiasm for whatever event you have.”
“A good hostess plans for the unexpected. If you’re hosting a gift exchange, even a white elephant exchange, keep a couple wrapped gifts at the ready so no one goes without if a guest forgets to bring a gift.”
Advice for the Anxious Host
If you are an entertainer who can never seem to settle and gets flustered by the details, Anne Marie has a bit of advice for you. Start small.
“Don’t plan a big party for your first one,” she says. “Start with six. Invite your best friend or a few couples and try it out.”
Keep the menu cozy and manageable. Anne Marie suggests a pot of soup and a salad for a gathering on a chilly Montana night — something prepped ahead of time so you can sit and enjoy the company.
“People want to feel warm and cozy, with a sense of belonging,” she says. “Put your effort into the conversation and into pampering the people. It doesn’t have to be elaborate.”
At the heart of all Anne Marie’s gatherings, whether for 6 or 50, is her belief that entertaining isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating space for joy, memory, and connection. And when someone asks to bring something, she has a simple parting thought.
“What you can bring is a story, something that makes people laugh, something meaningful,” she says. Because no matter how you gather, “it’s about sharing life together.”
