Never Alone
One woman’s journey through widowhood becomes a mission to help others keep going
For many years, Frannie Shaub seemed to have it all: a wonderful husband, two energetic young sons and a full, active life in Billings. But in 2020, her life changed forever after her husband Dan, who was athletic and outdoorsy, started losing his strength.
“The first thing he noticed was that it was hard to pull back his bow during hunting season,” Frannie says. “Gradually, we noticed other things, like he’d be playing basketball at the Y and would start tripping.”
After a year and a half, Dan was eventually diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. The progressive disease affects the connection between a person’s brain and muscles. Over time, ALS robs individuals of their ability to walk, talk and even breathe. The life expectancy for ALS sufferers after diagnosis is typically two to five years.
“Slowly I watched Dan decline and suffer,” Frannie says. “I had a baby in the middle of it and took care of him and the kids. We knew that literally every day could be our last together, so we just did the best we could and invited a lot of people in because we needed a lot of help.”
Dan was a man of faith, and although his bodily strength was fading, his belief in God remained strong throughout.
“Bit by bit, we just kept choosing to live,” she says. “The last thing Dan ever said to me was ‘I love you. Just keep going and God is going to use you, so listen to Him.’”
When Dan passed away at age 41 in 2022, Frannie wasn’t sure how to heal her broken heart and care for their sons and baby girl. While friends and family generously stepped in to help, she needed something more: to connect with other women walking a similar path. One evening, Frannie searched “Christian widow” online, and found a website for Never Alone Widows, a ministry based in Atlanta. There, she found hope, connection and encouragement from other women who had lost their spouses.
“Even just looking at online content, all of a sudden I felt seen and understood,” Frannie says. “Just knowing somebody else had already gone before me and done this, I was like, ‘OK, I can do this.’ I went to the group’s national conference and it changed my life.”
After Frannie returned to Billings, she felt a strong desire to help other widows learn to navigate life without their husbands. In the fall of 2023, she launched a local chapter of Never Alone Widows and welcomed about a dozen women into her home for the initial gathering.
“Since then, we’ve tripled in size and new women come all the time,” she says. “We’ve got women in their 30s all the way up to their 80s. I’ve watched women experience what I’ve experienced and it’s amazing to see some who could barely even smile now feel like they have a reason to live. It’s also great watching them pull up the next girl and look her in the eye and tell her, ‘You can do it.’”
The monthly gatherings offer both practical advice and spiritual refreshment, including prayer and worship. Typically, a guest speaker focuses on some of the challenges widows face, like depression, anxiety and handling family finances.
Feelings of isolation are also common among widows, and in addition to the ministry’s monthly gatherings, smaller groups have formed to help women connect more often. The breakout groups help deepen new friendships through shared activities, like walking, dining, playing games and making crafts.
For widow Audrey McClure, Never Alone Widows has been a lifesaver since her husband, Mark, committed suicide in 2023. They had been married 41 years.
“We’re kind of in a club that none of us wanted to join because we have all gone through the loss of our soulmates,” Audrey says. “It’s just a bond that has been so incredibly helpful. You leave the meetings feeling uplifted. Frannie always says, ‘we see you,’ and it’s true.”
Audrey’s friend, Kristi Lebruska, is walking a similar road. She and her husband, Steve, had been married 37 years when he took his own life in 2023. Like Audrey, Kristi firmly believes God brought Never Alone Widows into her life to help her heal.
“There’s just something to be said for walking into a room of women who share your same loss,” Kristi says. “You don’t have to explain anything; they understand. Frannie just has the kindest heart and has such a passion for walking with you as you heal.”
For women like Kristi and Audrey, it takes a step of faith to join Never Alone Widows. But the rewards are great, and they encourage other widows to join.
“It takes great courage to walk through that door the first time,” Kristi says. “I’m going to say feel the fear and do it anyway, because it’s so supportive.”
“Frannie has a heart of gold,” Audrey says. “She just has a heart for helping women through this difficult time. She is so sincere and you feel it in her presence.”
Frannie’s impact on widows reaches far beyond the group. Since joining Never Alone Widows, Audrey and Kristi have become passionate about helping other widows. The friends now walk alongside women and men whose spouses have committed suicide as part of GriefShare, a support group for people who have lost loved ones. The group is offered at several churches in Billings.
“I got the courage to help other suicide survivors from the Never Alone group,” Kristi says.
Kristi and Audrey say losing a spouse to suicide presents unique challenges.
“It’s shocking. It’s traumatic. There’s just a whole separate set of baggage that comes with that kind of loss,” Kristi says.
“We’ve kind of joined together in wanting to have our loss become a purpose,” Audrey says.
For Frannie, the last four years without Dan have been years of challenge and change. She fully believes God is helping her along the journey and is opening new doors for her and her children. Last year, she fell in love again and married Justin Mueller, a father of two boys who understands just how hard it is to lose a spouse. In 2024, Justin’s first wife died unexpectedly after suffering a pulmonary embolism. After her passing, he joined Refuge, an online men’s ministry for widowers. He first learned about Frannie when the national Never Alone Widows group shared her story online.
“We can understand the importance of celebrating life and remembering life and keeping those memories alive for our kids as best we can,” Frannie says. “It’s a whole new level of hard, but I have a teammate again who loves the Lord, which is amazing.”
Frannie Shaub Mueller will always miss Dan and their beautiful life together. She never pictured this new life, with a new husband, two more children to love and a ministry that inspires other widows to move forward with faith. But, she says, she’s grateful.
“When you hear other people’s stories, it takes the sting off your own,” Frannie says. “And you know, healing really happens in community.”
